Date: Tue, 30 Sep 2008 22:36:47 +0800
From: xxxxxx @yahoo.com.cn
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:

M

I am studying why environments affect human behaviors so much. Hope i will get a satisfying result very soon.

I know no one is meant to be mine eternally.

I am trying.

Miss X

Date: Mon, 29 Sep 2008 17:39:06 +0800
From: xxxxxxx @yahoo.com.cn
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:

It is our gold national holiday.

I am not sure of the interviews. I very hope I will work out my future during the time of 7 days.

Happy birthday!!

Date: Sun, 28 Sep 2008 11:33:02 +0800
From: xxxxxxx @yahoo.com.cn
Subject: It is hard for anyone
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com

M

A clear to do list for you.

Weimin Lin-Mxxxx Bxxxx no mid name woman still in nottingham city council but I learnt she has got CIMA.

Leilei liu my flatmate BA in reading. working in P& G

Sxx Dxxx you can get her profile in facebook. Married in Birmingham.

AIA, Prudential SH, tplife, AIU, australian-Chinese jv, an ads company 141worldwide. ^&^

You see, I just want you a lot from time to time.

I want to go back, is it the right thing to do at the right time in this email?

Get me back, M.

Date: Sat, 27 Sep 2008 22:33:41 +0800
From: xxxxxxx @yahoo.com.cn
Subject: my M

To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com

M

I called you in a family in Shanghai. Unfortunately that wasn’t a pleasant trip, and even now I am still wondering in space.

I felt like another one when I was in Shanghai in May. I just know I am living like a useless balloon.

Maybe I don’t know why I went to the UK, and how I came back to China. How I met such a fate.

People are born to be different. Are we just advanced animals. The China rocket was sent off, so maybe nature science helps us to solve the problems.

I deeply hate politics.

I do not want to repeat the same pattern of life in the past four months. It seems time not worthy of anything to me.

He said the torturing life experiences make me suffer.

I know only wise men know what is right thing to do.

It is true. I am unique. Everyone is unique.

If ever I make you sad, I didn’t mean to. The eager I pushed you, the further I am away from normal mood and state. You guys have turned my life upside down again and again. You are absolutely the first and the best.

I remember you told me you never loved a girl so much. I hope it is true. I often forgave you. But the pain of being discriminated still tortures once in a while. It is because of selfishness or self-protect. I know you forgive me and you love me.

Gay means you are mine-not others.

M, take me back.

I am in the harbor.

xx

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:
Date: Fri, 26 Sep 2008 15:30:57 +0100

M
 
They said it is extremely hard to communicate with white, especially finance white however fluent English we speak.
 
I am home.
 
I perhaps need time to recover again…I am trying my best.

From: xxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:
Date: Wed, 24 Sep 2008 15:04:49 +0100

M
 
I want to go back.
Tomorrow or in two days I will go back home hopelessly.
 
What about getting me a nice holiday in Shanghai? I like that if only I have my own money.

From: xxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:
Date: Wed, 24 Sep 2008 12:52:04 +0100

I just know forgign life insurance companies. All the state owned Chinese  insurers, general insurer, insurance broker/agent were filtered/
 
Willis China gave me a second chance in June, I refused cos I thought I will reach my goal soon.
 
M
 
I know I can get what I want. But the harder I tried, the further I went away from what is real.
Women need love to stay young.
 
I am struggling What is my tomorrow alike?

From: xxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
CC: M
Subject: Miss X, you are a pig!
Date: Wed, 24 Sep 2008 12:12:24 +0100

I had an interview today in manulife-sinochem. Very bad. Analytical skills.excel, ppt….
 
I talked to an Indian guy in subway. ?tube, underground. He asks me if I studied abroad. Of course he told me he is working here.
www.jupiter-infra.cn Did you bring Indian to US? I was not sure.
 
 
I almost forgot everything. I saw 6 or 7 physical doctors.
 
05.3-05.5 AIA haha great it is close to bankrupt. 
05.8-06.2 IQPC haha bankrupted already.
06.5-06.7 tplife-cig have you kicked the couple out of the company.
    -07.4 hell ++++
    -07.7 Jeff, M
    -08.5 Calvin Jeff M
    -08.9 I am in the middle of nowhere again.
 
I think it is right to do what I ought to do, especially I do not know how to deal with my lfie well.

Date: Mon, 22 Sep 2008 23:08:00 +0800
From: xxxxxxx @sohu.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:

M

I don’t know if dot gov can receive personal emails. Though I’ve already sent one hours ago.

I mean I want to go back. Now my brain is fine, do you agree with me?

I do not want to take a second trip to SH for interviews. A good news is a family can afford the overnights..

Contact me. Whatever, I just know I need you to be with me. How I hope so………..

Miss X

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: M
CC: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject: my my my my my
Date: Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:09:25 +0100

M
 
I searched jobs in inernet again. I got an interview notice for Wednesday. Still haven’t found anywhere to stay……my nightmare life.
 
I found why we were like twisted bar. I tended to understand all my behaviors.
 
I was like a pychologist.
I didn’t feel happy for that, though I know you are also tired of the reality…..
 
How to be myself to do the right thing regardless of my past?
 
Tonight
 
I try to grab the right sense about “Maybe it is not you……” because I can never hesitate btwn you two guys like April. April saw China earthquake affect me. I thought I choose you.
 
Three factors : I went to the UK automatically. I was SAID to stay there. You told me you are gay.
 
Finally, I want to go back-I need help.
 
Take your angel back.

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:
Date: Sun, 21 Sep 2008 16:12:08 +0100

M
Take me back. I am eager. I am so longing for a proper life, and make us smile.
 
Miss X
 
 

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject: good night
Date: Fri, 19 Sep 2008 15:43:20 +0100

M
 
I wrote down a lot more to track how I think and deal with my life.
 
It is 22:40 here. I have got a new clue, so I want to tell you. It seems we are killing each other….I mentioned in my past emails that we were like……….
 
Ease…
 
No matter how fast I am moving forward, I do my best.
 
Take me back

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:
Date: Fri, 19 Sep 2008 09:32:22 +0100

I remember the same thing happened before China quake.
I asked again and again I want to work in London, but you told me that isn’t good. I know there are financial crisis. But the more serious problem is I am unemployed.
I don’t know why I never give up the dream of staying abroad.
 
Help me. I need help.

From: xxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
CC: M
Subject: I save myself from here
Date: Fri, 19 Sep 2008 04:33:56 +0100

  M
Here is a paradox on me, or between us. We are from two different countries. We are British white and Chinese beauty.
I mean if I want to go abroad, you are my best choice and you are always there for me.
I feel sad when I had to seek others’ help even you are with me. I feel pissed when you didn’t what I want you to do.
I am to stop the mistake cruelly killing my life.
In the past days, I have been thinking about myself. As a result I have lost lots of hair. I know friends are accompanying me. I know I approach the rule setting for my situation.
I am here to express my eager to start new life.
I want to go back. When you get this mail, I want you not to hesitate or under the shadow of being gay or my history…..
I need your help urgently. Contact me. 
Miss X

 

From: xxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject: Dingding my dingding
Date: Wed, 17 Sep 2008 15:39:48 +0100

M
 
I think I am vulnerable.
I was said selfish to leave parents in hell worrying about myself while I only care about love stories. I tried my best to be better.
 
I know you are concerned about me, though you seldom contacted me.
 
I told you I found why we were like twisted bar. A friend just changed the way I am moving forward.
 
I am sure about your attitude to me.
 
I can make this conclusion: To know you is a mistake. This makes us suffered like two……..
 
This afternoon, I sent you an email again.
 
M, as I know my life is terrible. Take me back.

From: xxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
CC: M
Subject:
Date: Wed, 17 Sep 2008 03:01:29 +0100

M
 
I want to go back. By any chance, I’d like to receive Visa right away.
 
I am so happy for my decision, and I am proud I will satisfy parents.
 
Yours,
Miss X

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:
Date: Mon, 15 Sep 2008 10:30:03 +0100

M
 
How are you?
 
It’s life that gets you know me.
 
Friend couldn’t give me any help so far, and I have to give up.
 
I think it is a good idea to stay in China, anyway we spent time together in the past one year and I thought I love you.
 
Best wishes,
 
Miss X

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject: right or wrong/emergency
Date: Sun, 14 Sep 2008 06:06:07 +0100

M
I know you can guess.
 
I found the reason why we were like twisted bar. I am not smart enough, as I have drawn many drafts in the past two weeks.
 
It is because I thought I could stay there, then we got to know each other.
 

      Maybe it’s not me……

You didn’t hurt me by saying you are gay, in the same way you didn’t convenience me that you are British, while I am Chinese.
 
Is it because of the difference of personality and moral??
 
I want to share this truth and feeling with you. Last night I almost decided to go back to you. Suddenly news came in. I reached a friend working in the UK the day before yesterday because I meant to walk out of vicious cycles. I am not sure if he is helpful for this big thing. I should be getting the result very very soon.
 
I thought I want you to take me back. I remember a lot of things more.
 
Maybe future relies on reality, maybe I am too selfish.
 
But I am trying to reveal the fact.
 
Miss X

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:
Date: Sat, 13 Sep 2008 17:07:46 +0100

M
 
The body is tired though,I want to go back.
 
Miss X

Date: Fri, 12 Sep 2008 21:23:03 +0800
From: xxxxxxx @yahoo.com.cn
Subject: I am a professional hunter
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
CC: M

M

I know I am killing you, killing your health.

I am sure we both never expected an international relationship can be so special and difficult!!

I want to go back, and I’ve been expecting this for too long.

Every morning when I wake up, I just hope you are telling me that Miss X, you will be back very soon.

M

Date: Fri, 12 Sep 2008 21:05:45 +0800
From: xxxxxxx @yahoo.com.cn
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject: 
 

 I met love.

You are always there waiting for me cos I did crazy things asking you if U keep looking at me in English class.

I know-language and race.

I told you M, I turned to [someone from our uni] because of three reasons. One is I had made phone calls too long…Second, the similar past. last, marriage. However,  he seems not interestd in me at all.

Your promise to me is beyond nationality.

I know either you or jeff for me for the rest of my life. I am who I am.

sometimes I thought I’ve been determined, but I still have no response from you.

His name is GM. I got it from facebook.com.

In the near future, we will get my properties back!!

From: xxxxx @hotmail.com
To: M
CC: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:
Date: Fri, 12 Sep 2008 12:51:46 +0100

M
Clean your mailbox if there were wrong emails.
 
Mom’s mobile has cancelled the international call service, and it’s too expensive to call you with my own.
 
When I was in Shanghai hell, I don’t know why I couldn’t reach you tho I am sure I need you day and night.
 
I have been back home for two months, and I am still working on my future life at home.
 
Retiring Miss X. Poor China, poor me.
 
No matter how good I am, I want to live well. But I have my standard of dealing with people.
 
From April 07 till now, we have been through a lot. We share a lot.
 
I know you, but stupid me just don’t know who I am.
 
I don’t know.
 
M, perhaps I will email you again later this weekend.
 
I TOLD YOU MY BRAIN IS ILL. You just don’t listen to me.
 
I check my mail box, then no email coming in time and time again……..
 
M
right here I am with you.

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: M
CC: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:
Date: Fri, 12 Sep 2008 09:42:37 +0100

M
 
我很爱你。
 
I don’t know how you understand my behavior. But I am sure you love me in your way.
 
I want you to take me back.
 
xx

Date: Thu, 11 Sep 2008 12:28:12 +0800
From: xxxxxxx @yahoo.com.cn
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:

M

I want to go back.

Miss X

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:
Date: Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:39:29 +0100

Gay, Can you take me back to the UK?
 
Miss X

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:
Date: Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:38:33 +0100

 
If I said anything hurt you, just forget it.

From: xxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
CC: M
Subject:
Date: Wed, 10 Sep 2008 09:27:04 +0100

Are you tired of checking my emails?
 
The contents are similar. Either I wish you take me back to the UK immediately, or I love you so much because you have been as nice as possbile.
 
But you still don’t reply me.
 
I tried my best to think over the situation. No solutions.
 
What is a right thing to do?
 
It’s a mistake to get to know you. Can I say so??
 
But eventually you are willing to take me back whenenver I want.
 
So why are you confused by my behavior?
 
You hurt me once by saying you are gay. Never mind, I forgive you.
 
You don’t want to convince me that BRITISH IS BETTER THAN CHINESE BETWEEN US. But to end my torturing life, this is a good way.
 
Seeking or looking for a chance is quite different.
 
Bread or love. We want both.
 
But why life is treating me like this. So cruel.
 
Don’t reply to [her friend]. I don’t think for this matter she is not helpful tho she studied phchology…..
 
I know you want, I want to stay.
 
We should save time to know each other, ok?

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxxx @hotmail.com
CC: M
Subject:
Date: Wed, 10 Sep 2008 05:52:56 +0100

M
 
I thought we both have experienced the most tough time ever in lives.
 
I sicked up the day before yesterday. How I wish we will enjoy lives together every day and night.
 
I want you, as a best British I know so far, to take me back to the UK immediately, ok?
 
See you very very soon
 
Miss X

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxx @hotmail.com
CC: M
Subject:
Date: Wed, 10 Sep 2008 05:48:36 +0100

M
 
You can take me back.
 
Do it.
 
Miss X

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject: To my husband
Date: Tue, 9 Sep 2008 13:06:25 +0100

So we love each other.
 
I want to go back.

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
CC: M
Subject:
Date: Tue, 9 Sep 2008 02:22:28 +0100

M
 
Take me back

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject: good nite
Date: Mon, 8 Sep 2008 15:57:50 +0100

M
 
We both know why our relationships are like this.
 
YOu promised me that if I want to go back, then you will do that right away. You know the reason why you can’t reach me and many many more.
 
I sometimes refusd your proposal, I often ask you to take me back.
 
I just know you are the person I trust the most, but the one I can’t command.
 
I don’t know what your reaction is if I don’t send you this last one tonight. I know how you feel. We know how they feel.
 
So either you take me back immediately, or just give me another chance to go back.
 
I need you desperately.
 
Ease M………I am coming

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:
Date: Mon, 8 Sep 2008 12:58:14 +0100

Zhu ding
 
I love you.
 
I decided to go back, ok?

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: M
CC: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:
Date: Mon, 8 Sep 2008 12:20:02 +0100

M
 
I don’t know what I can say to pursuade you to stop being so hard on yourself. I know you love me.
 
If there isn’t that mistake, I will still study abroad. Maybe UK<—>
 
If there isn’t China quake on 5.12. I have decided to get back to you.
 
I know where the facebook picture came from. I know why I can’t be rescued in Shanghai’s poor hotel.
 
You are gay. I want your help. I want to go back.
 
Have a nice evening. Miss you.

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: M
CC: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:
Date: Mon, 8 Sep 2008 10:50:55 +0100

M
 
I AM THE BEST CHINESE AMONG US.
 
I want to go back.

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: M
CC: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:
Date: Mon, 8 Sep 2008 10:42:19 +0100

M
 
Take me back.
 
Miss X

From: xxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:
Date: Sun, 7 Sep 2008 04:21:27 +0100

M
 
I want to go back.
 
Miss X

Date: Thu, 4 Sep 2008 12:30:18 +0800
From: xxxxxxx @yahoo.com.cn
To: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
CC: M
Subject:

I love you babe.

I want you.

Date: Wed, 3 Sep 2008 13:02:21 +0800
From: xxxxxxx @yahoo.com.cn
To: M
CC: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:

M

Whatever, maybe just to comfort two ill parents give me a quick reply.

You promised me that you can take me back.

I applogized if I bother you too much because I am not smart or strong enough.

I am hunger for help. I want to get back to you.

Date: Wed, 3 Sep 2008 10:54:45 +0800
From: xxxxxxx @yahoo.com.cn
To: M
CC: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject:

I don’t know what it means when you hung up phones. I thought I am British but I am in fact Chinese not only in people’s eyes, but proved by truths revealed years later.

Can you call me if you send me Visa.

I don’t need your distant care so far.

All I need is you to take me back to the UK.

Can you do it?

Can you receive this mail.

Thanks!!.

From: xxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: M
CC: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject: NEW LIVES
Date: Tue, 2 Sep 2008 10:25:01 +0100

M
 
The tie between us is you told me you are gay when I asked you if you kept looking at me in lectures.
 
You might give me another answer if I asked you if you liked me while I like you.
 
As we said my question is like “I want to go back, ok?” Your answer is OK.
 
My youth time from 18 to 28 is terrible but I know you have accompanied me for over one year.
0-8 no baby sitter 8-18 bookworm
 
This weekend I found the trick that has destroyed everything! I WENT TO THE UK AUTOMATICALLY
 
So I promised my mom that definitely I would receive your Visa this week.
 
However I don’t know why we didn’t have a pleasant talk today, and it seems everything turns around. I got to stop this right away.
 
Mom is sad, and I don’t think it is a better way to keep calling.
 
I wants to go back.
 
I also wants some money.

From: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
To: m

CC: xxxxxxx @hotmail.com
Subject: M HELP!!
Date: Tue, 2 Sep 2008 08:22:54 +0100

It’s or not myself in Nottingham??
 
It’s my dream of going back to the UK
 
It’s not a mistake to get to know you
 
It’s my man out there in London
 
It’s my life